- The managers of various clubs who make it into the
Third Round will be asked on television who they want in
the draw. Aa always, the non-League managers will claim
they want Manchester United or Liverpool away. In reality
they'll be desperate for a home tie against whoever is
bottom of Division Three.
- Manchester United will scrape through every round
against lower league opposition and make it to the final,
yet again.
- Barrow will sign a highly rated striker for a four
figure fee, two days after the First Qualifying Round
matches have taken place. Therefore he'll be cup-tied for
all subsequent rounds (just like last season).
- The BBC will adopt a bunch of no-hopers with a crap
ground and no fans, in anticipation that they might just
progress beyond the First Qualifying Round; someone like
Curzon Ashton, Knowsley United or Droylsden.
- Accrington Stanley will earn a replay in the Fourth
Qualifying Round and hog the headlines when the First
Round draw is made.
- Granada Tonight will patronise the non-League teams
from the North West who make it into the First Round
(again).
- Match of the Day will take the piss out of whichever
non-League side suffers the heaviest defeat in the First
Round (as they did last season) and will then salute the
tremendous achievements of Fulham when they beat Chertsey
1-0 and Brighton when they earn a replay with Dover.
- Ronnie Radford's goal in the Hereford United v
Newcastle match will be shown on 'Match of the Day' for
the 5,000th time... and the 5,001st... and the 5,002nd...
ad nauseum.
- The draw for each round will take place at a
different time of day on a different day of the week in
order to pander to the financial demands of whichever
satellite TV company has the rights to exclusive
coverage.
- Woking will reach the Third Round (yet again).
Michael Gibson
Issue 027 - August 1996
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