We got this match report from an Altrincham fan, via Chris Armstrong. You might be interested...
A CRY from the HEART
As an Altrincham fan, I would obviously like to be reporting on the attractive free flowing football that I'm sure Altrincham once played. Instead, events on the pitch have served only to drag the good name of football into the mire. Once again the opposition - No-Hopers FC - conspired to raise their game because they were playing our beloved Altrincham. For the whole ninety minutes the eleven men from No-Hopers FC blatantly attempted to win this game by scoring more goals than Alty. And in the eightieth minute there were no fewer than four opposition players deliberately queuing up on the far post to score the winning goal. When are the authorities going to act? If this carries on, then our beloved Alty will be denied our God-given right to play in the Conference. The effects for football as a whole will be devastating. As everyone knows Alty are best supported club in the Unidump. Okay, okay, I know that Accrington, Worksop and Barrow actually get bigger gates, and although that may blow a big hole in our claim, if we say it often enough, then I'm sure a few people will believe us. And even if we don't have the biggest home crowds, then our away following is second to none. Yes, yes, so a lot of fans of other clubs say that Barrow have a larger away following, but what do they know. And we certainly have the noisiest. The checked shirt that I wore to Stalybridge was particularly loud. And if we don't have the largest away following, we certainly have the largest proportion of away fans as a percentage of the current Euro exchange rate. And is it really all that surprising that clubs such as Barrow have larger crowds. Barrow only have to compete for crowds with Carlisle. (For the purposes of this essay I shall ignore the fact that Preston and several other Lancashire clubs are nearer to Barrow than Carlisle) Alty have to compete with Manchester United, and I mean no one from Cumbria would ever dream of running supporters coaches to any of the Manchester clubs, would they? And anyway, what else is there to do in Cumbria? Here at Doss Lane, which everyone knows is the centre of the universe, we have such things as cinemas and bowling alleys, so obviously there is a lot more competition for crowds here in Altrincham. I mean, Cumbria hasn't really got some of the most beautiful scenery in the world, has it? (Yes. Ed.) Anyway, back to the game. As I was saying, the opposition tried too hard. Everyone always raises their game against our beloved Alty. Just because Emley have won more games than us doesn't mean to say that they should be top. I'm sure they didn't try too hard when beating Worksop and Barrow. It's not fair. I mean, if we don't get back in the Conference, how are we going to embarrass ourselves even more than we already have done this season. We should be in the Conference if only because our FA Cup record is second to none. I mean how many other teams have lost 0-3 at home this season to a club two or three divisions below them. We put out half of our reserves because we thought we only had to turn up. And yes, you guessed it, Mossley blatantly raised their game and thrashed us. If this carries on, then pretty soon we'll have to sign a few decent players and do some extra training, and that should at least make sure that teams like Barrow don't bother trying against us. Chris Armstrong Issue 047 - January 2001