Quick meals in a jiffy so you don't miss the kick off...
KOOKERY CORNER by our man in the kitchen, Bovis Hovis
Hi! It's me again, Give 'Em Beans! own superchef, with more delicious recipes for nutritious, satisfying meals that you can prepare in seconds before you dash off to make the kick off of that all important soccer game. My postbag is full of comments you've made about the recipes that I've published here. Many of you have been very kind with your suggestions. But I'm not going to pay any attention to them. However, many of you have been very pleased with the ease and simplicity of the meals I've created. Remember you can add variety to your meals by a wise choice of vegetables. And there are so many to choose from. I find that oven ready frozen chips are just the perfect accompaniment for any meal. Before you leave for the match, just spread them around the engine compartment of your car. I always use a tiny speck of superglue on each chip to keep it in place during your journey. The heat from your engine will cook the chips to perfection and when you arrive at the ground, just put them into a large plastic or cardboard cup and enjoy! The only problem I've found is that my engine is covered with tiny pieces of burnt potato. These are the bits where I put the superglue. But they burn off in time, though if the smell of burnt food annoys you, it might be better not to use this recipe. Also, it's best to make sure your journey to the ground takes at least forty-five minutes. So this recipe is ideal for any away game. For home games I suggest you get to Holker Street via the Coast Road, Ulverston, Broughton and Askam. That should make certain that your chips are ready by the time you park in Asda. Sometimes I form a rectangle with some of the chips on top of the engine block and use this as a makeshift griddle. Sausages, beefburgers, fish fingers, or anything that can be grilled can be placed inside your rectangle of chips. The freezer in the shop at my local garage has quite a large selection. Again, around 45 minutes is the best journey time, and it helps if you stop halfway at a motorway service station or one of those lay-by cafes so you can turn your sausages or beefburgers over. If you forget to do this, then your enjoyment of your meal might be slightly compromised if one side is burnt and the other is not cooked at all. For home games, stop about four miles outside Ulverston, as you go up to the top of Kirkby Moor. Also, remember to be environmentally friendly. That cup you brought to put your chips in; don't throw it away, use it to have a piss in. It will save you a walk to the toilets and that way you won't miss any of the action on the pitch. Remember, recycle everything and save the earth. But don't put your cup down on the terracing and forget what's in it. If you do, and you feel thirsty in the second half, you would get a very unpleasant surprise. Don't take the recycling idea that far. And do make sure your companions don't make the same mistake with your cup. Otherwise it could lead to some nasty repercussions in the car on the way home. Well, that's all for this issue. More ideas for tasty and nutritious snacks next time. And as all we professional chefs say, keep off the BSE. Issue 048 - March 2001