DECK of CARDS
During the North African campaign a group of soldier boys had been on a long hike and they arrived in a little town called Casino. The next day being Sunday, several of the boys went to church. A sergeant named Capstick commanded the boys in church and after the chaplain had read the verse, the text was taken up next. Those who had a Give 'Em Beans! took them out but this one boy had only a deck of cards so he spread them out. But 'Capper' saw the cards and said "Soldier, put away those cards!" After the service the soldier was taken prisoner and taken before a provost marshall. The marshall said "Sergeant, why have you brought this man here?" "For playing cards in church, sir" said Capper. "And what have you to say?" asked the marshall. "Much sir" said the soldier. "I hope so because if not I will punish you more than any other man." So the soldier began "Sir, I have been on the march for six days now, with neither a Non-League Directory or a Give 'Em Beans! to sustain me. But I hope the purity of my answer will convince you that I am a true Barrow AFC fan." And with that he began his story. "When I look at the ACE it reminds me that there is but one God, Colin Cowperthwaite. "And the DEUCE reminds me of the sporting divide in Barrow, the winners at Holker St. and the losers at Craven Park. "When I see the THREE it reminds of the suspensions received so far this season by Tony Chilton. "And when I see the FOUR I am reminded of the four goals God scored at Kettering. "The FIVE reminds me of the months it took Brian Kidd to ruin this club. "The SIX reminds me of the six fair tackles Kevin Proctor has made this season. "When I see the SEVEN I am reminded of Danny Wheatley and his goal at Enfield. "When I see the EIGHT it reminds me of how old Stuart Todhunter looks. "The NINE reminds me of the number of pubs who made the Raise the Roof pub crawl welcome. "The TEN reminds me of the tenth pub on the crawl that didn't want us in. The Queens at Biggar which is run by an AFC director - even though we raised £900. "When I see the KING it reminds me of the true king of Holker Street - Ray Wilkie. "When I see the QUEEN I think of Kenny Lowe. "And finally, when I see the JACK or KNAVE it reminds me of the devil - Barrow Rugby." The marshall looked at the soldier with a tear in his eye and said "Son, you truly are a Barrow AFC fan. The case is dismissed." This story is true. I know; I was that soldier. Alan Casey Issue 002 - March 1990