Give ’Em Beans! - Triviamania

The HARD MAN

Over the years we have had our fair share of hard men, but the rest can step aside because this season has seen the emergence of surely the roughest, toughest player ever to have donned the blue and white of our beloved Barrow AFC. Stand up, STUART TODHUNTER (He is standing up. Ed ).

Because of this we here at Give 'Em Beans! have decided to determine just how hard Stuart really is by comparing him to legendary football hard man, Norman 'Bite Yer Legs' Hunter.

We asked a top soccer coach to draw up a comparative table for us, but he told us to p¡$$ off so we did it ourselves.

A COMPARATIVE TABLE

Norman
'Bite Yer Legs'
Hunter
Stuart
'Baby Face'
Todhunter

Comments re:
Stuart Todhunter

Ability to intimidate opposition
8 2
Let down by a lack of stubble.

Tackling prowess
9 3
Would do better if he could get boots with proper screw in studs to fit him.

Ability to play really toughly in midweek matches
10 0
His paper round always puts a stop to midweek matches.

Ease with which they can get into nightclubs
10 1
Not always able to convince the bouncer he's over 18.

Ability to drink alcohol in large amounts
10 1
Gave up after Birdie drank him under the table.

Resemblance to anyone in a TV soap
0 10
Stuart bears an uncanny likeness to Todd from Neighbours.

Total Score
47 (/60) 17 (/60)
Hard luck Stuart!

Well, there you go conclusive proof, if any were needed, that Stuart Todhunter is not the new Norman Hunter.

Although Stuart managed to do well in the 'resemblance to TV soap star' category this wasn't enough to out do the mighty 'bite yer legs' Hunter of yesteryear. It is quite clear that until Stuart starts shaving, packs in his paper round and stops looking like Todd from Neighbours he will never rise to the hard man status of the likes of Norman Hunter.

Never mind Stuart, we still like you!

Alan Casey/Paul Clarke/Phil McMenemy/Stephen Robson
Issue 001 - January 1990

The HARD MAN
Over the years we have had our fair share of hard men, but the rest can step aside because this season has seen the emergence of surely the roughest, toughest player ever to have donned the blue and white of our beloved Barrow AFC. Stand up, STUART TODHUNTER (He is standing up. Ed ). Because of this we here at Give 'Em Beans! have decided to determine just how hard Stuart really is by comparing him to legendary football hard man, Norman 'Bite Yer Legs' Hunter. We asked a top soccer coach to draw up a comparative table for us, but he told us to p¡$$ off so we did it ourselves.
A COMPARATIVE TABLE
	Norman 'Bite Yer Legs' Hunter	Stuart 'Baby Face' Todhunter	Comments re: Stuart Todhunter
Ability to intimidate opposition	8	2	Let down by a lack of stubble.
Tackling prowess	9	3	Would do better if he could get boots with proper screw in studs to fit him.
Ability to play really toughly in midweek matches	10	0	His paper round always puts a stop to midweek matches.
Ease with which they can get into nightclubs	10	1	Not always able to convince the bouncer he's over 18.
Ability to drink alcohol in large amounts	10	1	Gave up after Birdie drank him under the table.
Resemblance to anyone in a TV soap	0	10	Stuart bears an uncanny likeness to Todd from Neighbours.
Total Score	47 (/60)	17 (/60)	Hard luck Stuart!
Well, there you go conclusive proof, if any were needed, that Stuart Todhunter is not the new Norman Hunter. Although Stuart managed to do well in the 'resemblance to TV soap star' category this wasn't enough to out do the mighty 'bite yer legs' Hunter of yesteryear. It is quite clear that until Stuart starts shaving, packs in his paper round and stops looking like Todd from Neighbours he will never rise to the hard man status of the likes of Norman Hunter. Never mind Stuart, we still like you! Alan Casey/Paul Clarke/Phil McMenemy/Stephen Robson Issue 001 - January 1990

The HARD MAN

A COMPARATIVE TABLE

Alan Casey/Paul Clarke/Phil McMenemy/Stephen Robson Issue 001 - January 1990

Alan Casey/Paul Clarke/Phil McMenemy/Stephen Robson
Issue 001 - January 1990