Look who's stumbled in this time...
The MATRIX... (again)
It wasn't easy keeping Morpheus happy. I always tried my hardest. But some days he'd be in such a bad mood he'd just blow my brain neurons clean out of my skull. "Try the red pill," he'd say. "I did," I replied. "No you didn't. You took the yellow one. Look!" And in his hand he held a green pill. It didn't make sense. But then nothing does. I'm a victim, like the rest of the sad suckers. Wired into the Matrix, a servant of The Corporation. I bought a hard up soccer club and tried to do something funny with the money. But I had to pay high wages to get decent players to get them into a more senior league where the income would be greater. Before I knew where I was, it was going out faster than it was coming in. And the ground had to be upgraded with a new stand otherwise the senior league wouldn't have let us in. And old creditors kept popping up asking for their money. I had to pay them so they'd go away. Morpheus said the end game would make it all worthwhile. But it spiralled out of my control too quickly. Before I realised what I'd done, almost two hundred big ones had gone down the river and I was still losing five grand a month. I was in deep $#¡*. It wasn't supposed to be like this. The money was leaking away faster than water through a colander. I needed to get out. Fast. But not without taking some collateral, like a piece of valuable real estate. After everything I'd put in, that was only fair. So I got the deeds for that real estate signed over to my own company, then if the whole thing went belly up, at least that's something I could realise to try to recoup four years of losses. But real estate isn't just for selling. There's a rent to be paid if the football club want to use it. Let's say a nominal £250 a week. It can also be used as an asset to raise some cash by mortgaging it to a finance company. That's worth at least three hundred nickeroos for an 80% mortgage. But the money's still haemorrhaging away, fast. The creditors are circling round, closing in like a pack of ravenous wolves ready for the kill. I had to get the title to the real estate parked in a solvent company before a receiver came in to close mine down. Good move. I did it just in the nick of time. They'd sell the real estate for me and it'd cover the losses and leave a hundred for all my trouble. But the Matrix is a warren full of tortuous turns and switchbacks. They couldn't sell the real estate on the open market. Turns out someone has paid £100,000 for first refusal if it ever comes up for sale. And another thing. I'd forgotten about the mortgage. The finance company had first call if the deeds were transferred. ßø!!ø¢#$! That's when Morpheus gave me the pill. The blue one. Or was it yellow? I wanted him to stop it. Take out my wires, disconnect me. He wasn't listening. But he heard everything. Then the receivers got some smart ass lawyer who claims the original transfer of the deeds was not carried out in accordance with the articles of association of the football club. So I've got him and the finance company both on my tail wanting to carve up the real estate between them. ß@$*@®¶$. The Matrix. Take the red pill now. But I can't. I've already had that one. Never mind. They'll be here in a minute to make me comfortable. Lie back. Closing my eyes. Relax. Wait. It's all over now... Issue 048 - March 2001