In 1996, after five seasons in the UniBond Premier Division, Furness biggest non-League club finally gave up on promotion...
TAKE THAT - GONE for GOOD Hotline set up to help hysterical fans
They sang of Hezza's Blue and White Army and dreamed of regaining their rightful place in the Football League. But their hearts were broken as Barrow announced that they had formally given up on promotion to the Vauxhall Conference. The seven words came like hammer blows to the fans. "From today, we stay in the UniBond," announced chairman Stephen Vaughan. Beans! offices were flooded with hundreds of phone calls from disbelieving fans. Our single phone line was jammed for most of the day so we arranged for telephone hotlines to be set up to calm the wave of hysteria. And the Samaritans followed suit. Radio stations throughout Furness broadcast the chairman's statement live and were immediately inundated with calls from weeping fans. Radio Cumbria's sports editor, Ed Hanson said "Everyone has been left reeling. We've had loads of phone calls from very distraught fans demanding to know the truth." The Evening Mail was deluged with faxes demanding to know what was going on. Football reporter Phil Pearson told us that he had "never known such an overwhelming outpouring of emotion." Barrow AFC are to stay in the UniBond until at least the year 1997. Arguably the biggest non-League club in Furness, Barrow said they wanted to consolidate in a league where they could still win games. Their success after four years in the UniBond had, they said, exceeded their expectations. The time was right to call it a day on their Conference aspirations. Originally an eleven-a-side squad whose stunning choreographed football, catchy shouts ('second ball') and sense of humour took them into the upper reaches of the UniBond and into the fans' hearts, they vowed to return to the Conference after founder members Colin Cowperthwaite, Kenny Lowe and Neil Doherty quit four seasons ago. But, as it now turns out, that vow has had to be broken. Stephen Vaughan said that three factors affected the decision to stay in the UniBond League. Firstly, the resignation of the manager, Tony Hesketh, had deprived the players of a figurehead at a crucial time in the season. Secondly, the accounts had not reached the Conference by the deadline and so the club had been told that their formal application for promotion would have to be withdrawn. And thirdly, the players pathological inability to win games meant that we could look forward to our best league placing for years; somewhere between fourth and sixth. Mr Vaughan said that he'd be putting in a good word for Tony Hesketh to make sure that he got another job in football. It has been a difficult time for Barrow fans since the New Year. Within the first few days of January the fans' hope and optimism were frozen in the snow and ice of the worst winter for thirty years. 1995 ended with them having five games in hand on Bamber Bridge who were in top position. Barrow were eleven points adrift in fifth place. Not a bad situation for the halfway point of the season. Seven weeks later, the games in hand had been frittered away in depressing draws and dodgy defeats against Hyde, Leek, Guiseley, Droylsden and Emley. After the surprise away win at Bishop Auckland on 17 February, Bamber Bridge were still top; Barrow were in third place, six points behind and only one game in hand. It was just as well that the great freeze claimed the Witton and Buxton games. Those realistic hopes of promotion were as surely buried as the snowdrops and crocuses were under two feet of snow. Subsequent failures against Gainsborough and Winsford only emphasised what had been inevitable for some time. Barrow claimed to be unaware of the timing, but it may have been significant that the announcement came on the thirtieth anniversary of the day that Barrow beat Brentford to gain promotion to Division Three. The club remains signed to Stephen Vaughan Promotions. A spokesman said last night, "Obviously, it is a very sad day. But we are all extremely positive about what the future holds." Last night, bookmakers were offering odds on Barrow's chances of staying in the UniBond for another four seasons. Ladbrokes had them as hot favourites at 6/4 to be still there in 2001, with relegation to UniBond Division One at 2/1 and a drop all the way to the NorthWest Trains League rated at 50/1. A few fans got wind of the press conference and turned up to see if their worst fears were about to come true. One of them, who came up from London, said, "I cannot believe it. I have spent a fortune following Barrow this season. I've been praying for promotion. It would halve what I spend on getting to away games. I can't afford it anymore. I'll have to go back to being a normal person now."
HYSTERIA ADVICE
Barrow fans the length and breadth of the country were distraught after the announcement. Like the twelve year old girls psychologically affected by the breakup of Take That, the emotions were close to the surface, raw and bleeding. So to help those who have to live with a Barrow supporter; wives, husbands, partners, parents, brothers or sisters, here is the Beans! hysteria checklist of how to recognise and deal with this kind of trauma. DON'T IGNORE FEELINGS... Recognise the signs - red eyes from continuous crying, breaking crockery, talking to themselves, bad temper, general irritability. BE THERE FOR THEM... Live through the emotion - talk to them about it, be sympathetic, remind them there are worse things in life, like supporting Marine or Winsford United. ALTERNATIVE INTERESTS... Try to get them interested in something else: bus spotting, long walks in the country, or sex. If that doesn't work, tell them that Barrow might get promotion next season by accident. If this causes severe disturbance, physically restrain the patient and call a doctor. WATCH FOR SUICIDAL TENDENCIES... Don't leave them on their own, even for a minute to 'nip down the shop for some fags', don't leave sharp knives lying around and make sure to lock the medicine cabinet in the bathroom.
Issue 026 - May 1996