PLANS UNVEILED for PLANET BARROW by our gastronomic reporter, Igor Ronay
Following the successful launch in London this summer of Planet Hollywood, the burger restaurant part-owned by top US movie stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis and Sylvester Stallone, the Furness Tourist Board have announced plans for a themed diner based around Barrovian culture to be built in the area. Titled Planet Barrow, the new restaurant will be housed in the section of Trident submarine that VSEL welded the conning tower on to upside down a few years ago, and sited on the area of derelict land that used to be Forshaw Street. Mr Michael Stephenson, renowned proprietor of the area's leading cafe, The Last Resort Coffee Shop, is to be invited to create a menu featuring the best in North Western cuisine. It is expected that this menu will offer such delicacies as Lancashire Hot Pot, mild Lancashire cheese, Cumberland sausage, Kendal Mint Cake and, of course, Marsh's Sass, at affordable prices in comfortable surroundings. Special attention is being paid to the decor, with the emphasis being placed on the achievements of the town's football club. As well as the number 9 shirt that Colin Cowperthwaite wore at Wembley, Barrow AFC are to donate the square of turf from where Kenny Lowe scored his FA Trophy semi-final goal against Colne, Paul Rowlands boots, and two sunbeds from the Sports and Leisure Centre, as used by Kevin Proctor and Paul Slater. This ambience will be complemented with framed poster-size enlargements of each of Give 'Em Beans! covers to date. But will the venture be able to compete with the big attractions offered at Planet Hollywood? When I put this question to a Furness Tourist Board spokesman, he launched a bitter attack on its owners. "We'll beat them hands down. How can they even begin to compete with all the Barrow AFC memorabilia that we have? It's an indication of the twisted minds of these people that the best they can come up with for decor is the ice-pick from 'Basic Instinct'. Pretty sick, huh? They may have Demi Moore, but we're going to have some old slag from the bank up Ormsgill on permanent display." Resisting the temptation to say "Not much difference, is there?", I then asked him if he thought that people would be prepared to make the long journey down the A590 to eat at the restaurant. "Oh yes, undoubtedly. Once folk realise that all they are doing by eating at Planet Hollywood is making some rich American ß@$*@®¶$ even richer, they will be into their cars and up the motorway like a shot. I think you'll find that Planet Barrow will be what rescues this area economically." Arnold Schwarzenegger was unavailable for comment yesterday. Issue 017 - August 1993