Strange to say, but in the same issue as we printed this, we revealed that there are some up the Cumbria coast who don't even know who Colin Cowperthwaite is! Well, we can forgive such blasphemy, I suppose, for it's their problem, not ours. Anyway, here for true believers everywhere we reprint this classic...
LINES on the RETIREMENT of COLIN COWPERTHWAITE
So. Farewell then Colin Cowperthwaite. For years you have been A non-League Legend. My friend Clint Thinks you should Have a street named After you. And That they should Call it Cowperthwaite Twenty-Yard Drive. And I do Too. in the style of E J Thribb (age 17) Issue 011 - April 1992