We knew it wouldn't be long before Joe wound someone
up.
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HARRY HINDPOOL...in which Joe's arch-nemesis
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Until recently Joe McFuddle, the man in the muddle, was a footballing friend of mine. However, his article of half informed hallucinogenicry in Beans! 008 has altered my opinion of this man in black somewhat. His short-sightedness is an open secret in the soccer world, but I would advise him to draw a line, if he can find his pencil, in his literal lambasts. As one of many players who has received his marching orders from McFuddle waving his Tesco shopping list for an alleged foul throw, I feel it is my duty to blow the lid off this whistle happy jokester. It will come as no surprise to followers of That Man In The Muddle but to the terrace diehards who roll up their match day programme and throw it under the bed on arriving home, it might be worthwhile to run a glass eye over McFuddle's career. As he himself acknowledges, his was the final nod of the head that gave Hurst his questionable winning goal against the Germans in 1966, saying half the ball was clearly on the line. Some linesman! However, UEFA's decision to give him the whistle in England's vital European Championship qualifier in Poland last November should have raised more than just the price of a pint in the Poznan locals. As England were struggling to find any cohesive passing movements and were already one goal down, Chris Woods' GBH on the six yard line of Lukinforapen, the star Polish striker was enough for McFuddle, stood on the half-way line, to award a corner for England! Of course, Lineker netted and the match ended. No wonder the stands were set ablaze, not by disgruntled Poles, but by the sparklers Joe McFuddle still had left over from Bonfire Night. On the way home, I asked McFuddle about the penalty that never was and all he said was "I don't make any decisions I can talk about, and besides Tomacesky was a lucky bleeder who just got in the way of everything!" So much for McFuddle on the international front. At home he doesn't make so much sense either. Mrs McFuddle recently told me she gave Joe the much used female fandango "Football or me!" to which Joe simply replied "It's no use, I'll have to send you off this time, son!" and showed Mrs McF her poll tax bill. Issue 010 - February 1992
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