TEN REASONS WHY... ...We're looking forward to the Conference
It's the first step towards regaining our rightful place in the Football League. Playing Hereford United. And beating them. Twice. More all ticket games organised by Cumbria Police which means that it either takes ages to get in, or thousands are unable to get tickets. Renewing old acquaintances with the likes of Morecambe and Southport. Reclaiming our status as one of the top ten non-League clubs in the country. We don't have to worry about meeting the Conference ground grading criteria. Or their financial restrictions. The London supporters can get to more away games. The refs will be better (is there any real evidence for this? Ed.). The standard of football will be better. One season, maybe not the next one, but one season, we'll win it.
...We won't miss the UniBond
We won't have to play Altrincham, Runcorn, Marine and worst of all, Boston. And speaking of Boston, we won't have to see their goalie, Bastock, ever again. We won't have to enter the President's Cup. Or the UniBond League Cup. We won't have to go to crap grounds like Frickley, Alfreton or Radcliffe on cold November afternoons. Or snowy Wednesdays in April. We won't have bad referees anymore (where's this confidence in the standard of refereeing coming from? Ed.). The crap standard of football. Leek will be in the UniBond next season. And Gateshead. And Stalybridge. Probably. We won't have to search for the fixtures and the results in the small print of the national press. We won't have to play in the Qualifying Rounds of the FA Trophy. We won't be relegated back there. Ever. Please. A not paticularly perspicacious piece from issue 035 - May 1998