As we say below, it's a vain hope, but you just have to keep on trying...
PEASANTS in the BIG $#¡*£¥
One of the enduring myths of Rugby League culture is that of the naive fan who goes down to the capital for Challenge Cup final weekend only to wind up either getting stupendously drunk or being hideously taken advantage of by an assortment of unsavoury characters in some sleazy basement nightclub in the wrong part of town. It's a vain hope of course, but we'd like contributions outlining any particularly memorable sordid or embarrassing escapades you may have heard about for a new Beans! series provisionally titled 'Peasants in the Big $#¡*£¥.' Aside from one barely remembered tale about someone in the old Shipyard Instrument Lab getting thrown out of some massage joint in Soho for asking for 'country leaf' (think about it) the best we can do is this... not a story exactly, but a joke adapted from one we heard years ago at a Jake Thackray concert, of all places. It goes something like this... A young lad of about seventeen whose parents were very strict and religious had nevertheless been allowed to go to the Rugby League Cup final in the charge of his uncle. But on the quiet his uncle was a bit of a boozer and old lecher, and needless to say, after the match he dragged his nephew off down to Soho, where after a few pints of overpriced 'ale' they found themselves being enticed into a grubby looking strip club. So they paid their money and took their seats, but about two minutes into the stripper's act the lad suddenly started jumping up and down, screaming and sobbing and trying to get out. "For God's sake!" hissed his uncle. "Shut up... everybody's looking at us. Sit down or you'll get us thrown out or worse!" "B-b-but Uncle!" blubbed the lad, "Father told me that if I even so much as took a glimpse at a naked lady, I'd turn to stone!" "Oh, that's rubbish!" said uncle. "Sit down." "No Uncle, please... I THINK IT'S STARTED!" Issue 023 - August 1995