MARINE 2 BARROW 2 HFS Loans League Premier Division 28 November 1992 by John Postlethwaite
As the Beans! London contingent's away trips go, the outing to Marine was pretty typical. The same people - Clint, contributor; Jamie, printer and driver; Gary, subscriber (one of four now, believe it or not! Gosh!), and yours truly; the same pick up point - under the motorway flyover at Mill Hill; and once we're on our way - exactly the same conversation as we had on the previous trip - putting to rights what's wrong with Barrow AFC. And the similarities don't end once we get to where we're playing. No, then we begin the ritual fish and chip shop search spending an hour trying to find a decent chippie (i.e. one that isn't Chinese... that's not racist; it's just that we don't like those fat chips they always do). This time after a fruitless (fishless?) search of Crosby, we drove out to Formby where we eventually found one that looked promising. And, as usual, we were wrong about that, too. As we went in Jamie asked "Do you have haddock?" "Just cod," they replied. Jamie said that it would do, but when it came to his turn they said they didn't have any as he hadn't asked when he came in! "This is a fish and chip shop, isn't it?" asked Gary somewhat archly. It turned out they were about to close and didn't want to go to the trouble of putting in a few fish just for us. Across the road was a pet shop with a sign that said 'Animal Free'. Of course, a pet shop that doesn't sell pets to go along with a fish and chip shop that doesn't sell fish! Later, back at Marine's snack bar, I asked for coffee, but got Bovril. This wasn't doing much to alter my opinion of Scousers jaundiced by years of watching all those negative stereotypes on Brookside. As for the game, it was graced first by a great own goal courtesy of Jason Smart who headed back a corner to where Armfield should have been but wasn't. Or maybe that should read 'headed back to where Peter McDonnell should have been and probably would have been had he been picked'. Then after their second goal the agro started when Marine 'keeper O'Brien stuck two fingers up at us. This prompted lots of abuse from two fans in particular at the corner of the ground, but a better response was Procky's immediate reply from a brilliant speculative cross by McKenna. Changing ends at half time a real ding dong was in progress between two rival fans. "Call this a ground," said the Barrow supporter, "We have better grounds than this in our park league!" And we had the last word too, on the pitch. A dodgy handball decision gave us a penalty and a point. But who knows what form the 'Heathcote Out' calls would have taken if Heesom had missed? Overall, it was a spirited rather than a skilful display. On the way home the conversation is always the same, too - the post mortem of the day's game, which, when exhausted turns to whatever happened to people we knew at school. But this time the journey was enlivened by one recollection that the last time one of us had seen such and such he was wiping his bottom on a roller towel in the gents in Maxim's. Disgusting, I know but just the thing to liven up the long trip down the M1. Issue 015 - March 1993