Well, even though we lost, we had a truly excellent time the day we went to Bangor. If you read only one of these day trips, then make it this one; the original and best, well certainly the most debauched...
BANGOR CITY 1 BARROW 0 Northern Premier League Premier Division 5 December 1988 by Alan Casey
Of all the crazy trips we have done to follow Barrow AFC, a drunken trip to Bangor in a transit van stands out in the memory. A rather portly and somewhat thin on top driver (who shall remain nameless), picked the squad up early Saturday morning from a dump in Crellin St. Even armed with a van full of beer and a beatbox Bangor is a bloody awful trip. In a transit van it's a nightmare. It was an odd sort of squad. The nameless driver, Phil, Al, Oaksey, Claire Grogan, Keith Milligan (the pie champ) and the farmer from Cark. The beer started to flow as we set off and Milligan ate his first pie. After picking the farmer up and getting to the M6 we were into our third can and a singalong. The beatbox was knackered so plenty of badly sung Smiths songs. Oaksey tried to fix the thing, so he gets a key and opens the thing up. He had only had five or six cans so I guess he knew what he was doing. Anyway it was his Christmas present. It all finished a can later with a "ƒ*¢# it!" and the beatbox thrown against the van door smashed into several pieces. Several cans along the A55 we got to Bangor. Milligan had eaten four or five pies and every empty container we had was full of p¡$$. We were cold, wet, bruised and it was raining. Into several pubs on the way to Farrah Road, Claire Grogan droning on and on, Phil cracking his anti-Welsh jokes as loudly as he could. The locals loved us. In their clubhouse everybody bar the driver was as drunk as a lord. By now Phil had progressed from jokes to standing singing Bread of Heaven. It went down like Newport County. In the stupor in the ground a fat Welsh bigot hit (the non-bigoted) Phil and was seen off by the farmer from Cark. Nice one Les! All that way to see Barrow get beat by a poxy 87th minute free kick from one of the worst decisions ever by a referee. A Bangor player blatantly handles the ball and then gets a free kick. We're cold, wet, drunk and beaten. But we still love Barrow AFC (pass the sick bucket. Ed.). A few more beers and a Barrow director turns to say "Is that your transit van in the car park?" "Yes, it is Dennis. Now get the ƒ*¢#¡>¿ beer in." Suffice to say Dennis declined. The driver decided he knew a short cut on the way home. I always thought it was head for Chester with the sea on your left. We finished up fifty miles south half way up a mountain in Snowdonia. A fresh air stop resulted in Oaksey and Phil falling head first unconscious into a ditch where both decided to puke up. The trip was worth it to see Claire Grogan running after the van in Dalton puking up everywhere with us abusing him. One sorry lad ended up with his long johns full of crap. He'd farted and followed through and then went to Scorpio in them. Issue 001 - January 1990