John Postlethwaite

  • Other names
    Old Ed.

  • Birthplace
    Cheltenham St. (still it could have been worse, it could have been Dover St.).

  • Physical appearance

  • Earliest childhood memory
    Would you believe being born?

  • Earliest memory of Barrow AFC
    The first game I ever saw was a 1-1 draw against Grimsby Town in the First Round of the 1964-65 FA Cup. They were top of the Third Division and we were bottom of the Fourth. We lost the second replay.

  • Best memory of Barrow AFC
    My recollections of promotion to Division Three in 1967 are practically nil, so it has to be FA Trophy 1990.

  • Worst memory of Barrow AFC
    Similarly, all I remember of our expulsion from the League in 1972 is the initial shock and none of the lingering depression. For that you have to look to the end of the 1991-92 season when we were relegated from the Conference. Probably the worst was being in the clubhouse at Merthyr after they had won 2-1 with a goal with practically the last touch of the game and hearing that Stafford had won to put us six points adrift at the bottom.

  • Favourite players, past and present
    Mick Hartland, Peter Farrell.

  • Favourite manager
    Ray Wilkie.

  • Worst player
    Too many to single out any one individual (Cop out. Ed.).

  • Worst manager
    Norman Bodell.

  • Favourite Tellytubby
    Do you really think I have a favourite Tellytubby? If pushed, I suppose it would have to be the blue one (Tinky Winky?).

  • Favourite Spice Girl
    Virginia-Madsen-in-'Slamdance' Spice.

  • Favourite record
    Anything by Frank Zappa, Steely Dan or Todd Rundgren that easily lends itself to an obscure allusion to put in Give 'Em Beans!

  • Favourite television programme
    The Royal Institute Christmas Lectures.

  • Favourite colour
    White shirts, blue shorts.

  • Favourite food
    Donner kebabs, the greasier the better.

  • Favourite building
    The one I'm in at 4.45 on a Saturday afternoon when Barrow have won (ah, so that would be Sainsbury's, Chiswick, then? Ed.).

  • What do you like most about women?
    Are you kidding? I'm already in trouble with the wife for the Virginia Madsen answer above.

  • What do women find most unappealing about you?
    Ugly, stupid, boring, poor personal hygiene. But strangely enough, lack of self confidence has never been a problem.

  • How many of Barrow's games do you see in a season?
    Two, maybe three if we have a Trophy run.

  • Why do you support Barrow AFC?
    Born there, what better reason is there?

  • Do you support any other football team?
    Well, to the extent that theirs is the result I look for after Barrow's, West Bromwich Albion.

  • When did you start contributing to G'EB!?
    Issue 003.

  • What is the worst thing about being a G'EB! contributor?
    None, it is truly an honour to be associated with such a quintessential part of the popular culture of the day.

  • What has been your most horrendous journey to a Barrow match?
    The journey to the postponed Second Round FA Cup tie at Whitley Bay in 1990.

  • What are your predictions for the future?
    Millennial chaos.

  • How many questions have you answered seriously?
    How many do you think?

  • Can you think of any other questions I should have asked you?
    Why haven't you come up with any decent ideas for covers lately? Oh... and 'What single thing would most improve the quality of your life?'

  • All right: 'What single thing would most improve the quality of your life?'
    Never having to sit through another car advertisement on the television again.

  • When did you start contributing to G'EB!?
    You've already asked that one.

  • Many thanks
    It's a pleasure... for you.
Issue 036 - September 1998